


Garrus & Shepard's Infinite Playlist

by littleleotas



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9480938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleleotas/pseuds/littleleotas
Summary: Music-related moments in the lives of Garrus and Shepard.





	1. say the word

**Author's Note:**

> I am aware that I'm skirting the edges of songfic in this, the year 2017, but you know what? It is what it is.
> 
> I currently have eight chapters planned, more may occur to me. We shall see! I'm daravakarian on Tumblr if you want to say hi.

Shepard sighed, stepping into the elevator. It had been too long since she'd run equipment maintenance and it wasn't her favourite thing to do. But it would, at least, be a peaceful hour or so with something to do.

The elevator door opened on the cargo bay. She had expected it to be empty, but Garrus was in his usual spot, fixing something on the Mako. He looked up when she exited the elevator.

“Commander.”

“Hey, Garrus. Didn't expect anyone to be down here.”

“ _Someone_ knocked the combustion manifold out of socket again.”

She frowned and crossed her arms. “Hey, that was a rock, not me.”

“Uh huh.” He put his wrench back in the toolbox and stood up. “Anyway. Something I can help you with?”

She shrugged. “Just going through our equipment. We picked up a lot of mods on Noveria, I figured I'd go through our weapons and see what I can do with what.”

“I'll join you when I'm finished with this,” he said.

She smiled, mildly surprised. “Alright.”

She walked to the opposite side of the shuttle bay and opened the boxes of new equipment and the lockers. She spread everything out on the floor, then sat down, cross-legged, at the end of the big square of equipment she'd laid out. She brought up some music on her omnitool and got to work.

_“No more taaaalk of darkneeeess, forget these wide-eyed feeeears...”_

Shepard sang to herself while unboxing a kinetic stabiliser. Her eyes scanned the line of guns to the side until she found the Naginata she wanted. She screwed the stabiliser on, looked at it appreciatively, and set the gun back in her locker.

“What are you doing?”

She looked up to see Garrus looking down curiously at her, head tilted slightly to the side.

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Got a better idea for that sniper rifle?”

“No, the singing.”

“Oh!” Her cheeks went pink. “I didn't even realise I was doing it, I've just had this song stuck in my head all day.”

“What is it?”

“It's from one of my favourite musicals. Old human crap.” She handed him a box holding an ammo mod. “Wanna help?”

He took the box and sat down on the adjacent side of the equipment square to her. He located his own rifle and got to work.

_“Saaaaay youuuu'll share with me one loooove, ooooone lifetiiiiime, saaaaay the word and I will follow you-”_

Shepard caught Garrus staring at her and she flushed deeper pink.

“That- thing you were just doing-”

“I like her lines but I can't sing that high so I just sing them an octave lower,” said Shepard, sheepishly.

“It sounded-”

“I can stop, I don't want to distract you.”

Garrus swallowed so hard Shepard could see his throat move. “No, please don't. Stop, I mean.”

Shepard exhaled a little laugh. “I'm such a nerd, I know.”

Garrus looked at her with an expression she couldn't place. She wasn't sure if it was a turian thing or...hm. She shrugged the thought off and went back to work.

 _“Anywheeeeere youuuu gooooo let meeee goooo toooooooooo...”_ Shepard sang dramatically to the rifle she had just attached a scope to and turned to grin at Garrus. His face still had that unreadable expression on it, and the smile on her own face faded. “Hey, you alright?”

Garrus shook himself a little, as if to wake up. “Hm? Yeah. I'm fine.”

Shepard squinted at him. “Garrus-”

“Just lost in thought, Commander.”

“Don't you 'Commander' me off-duty, Vakarian.”

He paused. “Leia,” he said, surprisingly softly.

She tilted her head slightly. “Garrus.”

The entr'acte played softly from her omnitool as she met his intense gaze. They sat there silently for a moment, before-

“What's that racket?”

Shepard rapidly turned her head around to see Wrex exiting the elevator. “It's music, Wrex.”

“If you say so,” he said, making his way over. “What's all this?”

“Equipment maintenance. Wanna help?”

Wrex groaned as he eased himself onto the floor next to Garrus. “Any chance of switching out shotguns? The last one I went out with was so puny I was afraid of snapping it in half.”

“Yeah, take this one,” Shepard said, picking one up and tossing it over to him. “I never use it anyway.”

Wrex fitted a heat sink to the shotgun while looking at Garrus. He nudged him with his elbow. “You okay?”

Garrus nodded. “Yeah, I think I just- need a break.”

Shepard looked worried. “I think that's a good idea. Go get some rest.”

Garrus stood up, put his rifle away, and headed up in the elevator.

Shepard chewed at her lip a little as she continued working with her equipment.

“Did you scare him off?” Wrex asked.

“I think my singing did,” said Shepard, eyes focused on the installation of a polonium ammo mod.

“Well, if your singing's anything like your dancing, I can't say I blame him.”

Shepard threw an empty box at Wrex and he laughed deeply, rocking back a bit.


	2. the unreachable star

The thudding bass in Garrus's ear faded away, as did the last of the Blue Suns. He sighed, turning his back to the low wall he'd been using for cover, and slid to sit on the floor. His legs were aching from staying in that crouched position, but the fact that he was registering pain was, he thought, a good sign. At least he could still feel something.

The next song queued in his visor playlist numbed him over completely.

He remembered learning of Shepard's love of old human musicals back on the Normandy nearly two years before. He remembered her sitting on the floor of the cargo bay, continually tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, singing an octave lower than the soprano on her omnitool – the effect of which made her sound turian, like her voice was the subvocal, and that, right then, was when he knew.

Now she and that ship were dust, and he had this song.

_“To right the unrightable wrong...”_

She had been listening to music while working on equipment in the cargo bay again when he first heard this song. A different musical that day. They were about to head through the Mu Relay, and everyone knew this was it, one way or another. She told him this musical made her feel invincible, and he replied that they certainly needed some invincibility right then.

He closed his eyes and he could hear her humming along with the song.

“This song is so you,” she had said, grinning at him.

“Oh?”

She raised a fist to the sky and sang the next line dramatically. “To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cauuuuuse!”

He chuckled to himself, as he had then. She'd had him pegged. Here he was, two years later, doing just that.

The song reached its ending crescendo and Garrus sighed. It certainly seemed an impossible dream now. 'It' being...well, he wasn't sure. Life, in general. She was gone, the Normandy was gone, his team here on Omega was gone. He wasn't sure what he was fighting for anymore. He wasn't sure what he was trying to do.

A clattering sound followed by a hissing, “You idiot!” alerted Garrus that he had company once again. He sighed as his playlist returned to the usual battle mix. He propped himself up using his sniper rifle and peered over the wall. Another wave of Blue Suns. Garrus grabbed another thermal clip and forced himself back to the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they have interests in music other than old human musicals. Stay tuned.


	3. ricochet

Shepard opened the door to the main battery with a smile on her face, which quickly faded when she found the battery empty. She frowned, looking around and finding no one. She spotted Garrus's visor on a box in the corner, and deduced that he must be showering, since he clearly wasn't sleeping, and those were the only times she knew of that he took his visor off.

With a quick glance back at the door, which had automatically closed behind her, she picked up his visor. She ran her finger over the initials carved in the side, sadly. She turned the visor over in her hand, then held it up to her eye. The information feeds ran quickly, and she blinked, rubbing her temple as she lowered the visor from her face. She didn't know how Garrus handled it.

She heard a dull thudding noise and her brow furrowed. She held the visor back up and positioned it the way Garrus would wear it – and she heard music. Some awful club mix. She chuckled to herself and looked at the visor screen. Apparently this refined piece of art was called “Bang Bang Boom.”

“Oh, Garrus,” she chuckled to herself.

“Yes?”

She quickly hid the visor behind her back as she noticed Garrus standing inside the door. She leaned backward awkwardly, knowing he'd seen her and figuring it was easier to just put the visor back rather than pretend she didn't have it.

“What were you doing with my visor?”

“Nothing. Just looking.”

He hummed thoughtfully, narrowing his gaze at her.

“I didn't do anything!”

She walked past him, out of the battery, mumbling under her breath, _”Yet.”_

~+~+~

Garrus ran ahead of Shepard, rolling into a rusted wall remnant for cover. He caught her in his peripheral vision, running crouched underneath fire from the Blue Suns. She leaned out of cover just long enough to overload the engineer, then leaned back against the short wall, panting.

He checked her vitals in the corner of his visor. Elevated heart rate, obviously, but nothing else out of the ordinary. Good.

The strains of “Fire in the Courtyard” died away in his visor's music output, but the usual segue into “Die for the Cause” was replaced with something different.

Garrus blinked a few times, tapping his visor. He looked at the corner of the screen. What on earth is “Titanium?”

_You shout it oooout, but I can't hear a word you saaaaay..._

He looked up when he heard Shepard laughing.

“Did you do this?”

She looked up at the sky and shrugged. Suddenly another wave of mercenaries arrived and there was no time to push the issue further. She hurled a warp projectile over her cover as Garrus picked off a few foot soldiers. He noticed her nodding her head in time with his music and squinted. A stray bullet from a merc she hadn't quite finished reaving brought him back into focus.

“Shepard,” he said, standing up as the last one fell, “When did you put music on my visor?”

She responded by dramatically lip-syncing, eyes closed, free hand in a fist.

_You shoot me dooooown, but I won't faaaaall, I am titaaaaaniiiiiiiuuuuuum!_

“You're gonna pay for this,” he said.

She grinned. “Promises, promises.”


	4. and joy be with you all

The silence in the mess hall was deafening. Shepard felt like she was walking through a ghost ship. The Collectors had taken her ship, her home, her _family_ , leaving her with the empty bones. It made her sick.

She hadn’t yet given the order to pursue through the Omega-4 Relay. She wasn’t going to do anything else, obviously. They had her people, and she wasn’t going to leave them.

But first, a drink.

She couldn’t tell if she was imagining the echo her every movement made as she set up the coffee maker. She tried not to think about it. After hitting the button to start coffee brewing, she climbed up on the countertop to reach the highest cabinet. She pushed a few things aside and retrieved a half-full bottle of whiskey.

“Need some help, Shepard?”

She turned around to see Garrus looking up at her, mildly awed.

“Actually, if you don’t mind. Getting down’s the hard part.”

He stepped closer to her and held her by the waist. With the bottle in one hand, she leaned her forearms on his shoulders as she slid down.

“Thanks,” she said, looking up into his eyes.

“My pleasure,” he purred.

She smirked at him and turned around to pour her coffee. “I’d offer you some, but, well, you know.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” he said, hands still lingering on her waist.

She poured half a cup of coffee, looked at it thoughtfully, poured a tiny bit more, and then replaced the pot. She unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle and filled the cup.

Shepard gestured toward the table and Garrus nodded. He grabbed a bottle of his own from the fridge and sat down opposite her.

“You okay?” asked Garrus.

Shepard shook her head vigorously and took a long sip of coffee.

“We’ll get them back,” he said, softly.

“I know.”

He reached over to put his hand over hers. “We _will._ ”

She smiled. “I _know_.”

“Good.” He took a sip from his bottle.

Shepard stared into her cup. “I’ve got a song stuck in my head.”

“You always do.”

She hummed a small laugh. “I feel like I read a story once in a…magazine, maybe, I dunno. About some girl who could tell people’s futures from the songs they had stuck in their head.”

“Should I be worried about this one?”

She shrugged. “Can’t tell.”

He cocked his head to the side.

She sighed and started singing. _"Of all the money that e’er I had, I spent it in good company, and of all the harm that e’er I’ve done-"_

She paused briefly, but continued.

_"-alas, it was to none but me. And all I’ve done for want of wit, to mem’ry now I can’t recall-"_

Garrus snorted. Shepard stopped to glare at him, but continued.

_“So fill to me the parting glass…”_ Her voice became softer. _"Goodnight and joy be with you all.”_

The mess was silent once more. Shepard stared into her cup for a moment before taking another sip.

“This isn’t the end, Shepard,” Garrus said in a hoarse whisper.

She reached over and squeezed his hand.

“Joker?” she addressed the comms.

“Ma’am?”

“Set a course for the relay.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Shepard turned back to Garrus. “I’m gonna go shower, but…come up in 15 minutes?”

Garrus nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed my username on Tumblr to daravakarian, if you want to come say hi!


	5. a composer but never composed

Garrus couldn't think of a time he'd seen Shepard as happy as she was leaving Tuchanka. It had been a victory for everyone concerned, but he knew Shepard was thrilled more than anything else about having cured the genophage - for having done something so big for someone she loved so much. It was an unparalleled high.

She seemed to have more energy than she knew what to do with. She bounced all the way from the shuttle to the lift. She bounced on her toes in the lift up to her cabin. Garrus hadn't even taken his armour off yet; he was just bemusedly watching her humming and dancing while taking her own armour off. She caught his eye and grinned.

"What?"

Garrus chuckled and shook his head.

_"What?"_ she insisted, walking over to him and putting her arms around his neck.

He put his hands at her hips, over the bare skin between her tank top and shorts. "I just like seeing you this happy."

She stood on her toes and kissed his nose before turning around and resuming the search for her sweatpants.

"'Ey, Lola," Vega's voice drawled over the comm.

"What's up, James?"

"We got a bottle on the bridge for you."

"Is it champagne?"

"It is not."

"Hmm. I'll come down anyway."

Garrus tilted his head over his shoulder at her. "You know, they didn't say what it actually was."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "It's James. It's shitty tequila."

"And you're going anyway?"

She shrugged and kissed Garrus's forehead on her way out the door.

~+~+~

Garrus made his own way to the bridge after getting his armour off. He saw Shepard drinking deep, directly from the bottle, while swaying her hips in rhythm with some music playing in the cockpit.

"You have shit taste in music," Joker complained.

"Youuuuu love it," said Shepard, closing her eyes and letting her whole body sway.

Vega took the bottle from Shepard and took a sip himself. "I'm digging the idea of teenage Lola in a moshpit."

She laughed. "You have NO idea."

Garrus leaned on the doorway and Shepard smiled, taking the bottle from Vega and gesturing toward Garrus.

"I'll let you keep that one."

"Aw, you're no fun."

"Can he drink it?" asked Vega with sincere curiosity.

Shepard shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

EDI piped in. "Actually-"

Shepard waved her off. "Nope, don't tell me. Not right now. Won't remember it. Turn the music up?"

EDI looked curiously at Shepard, but turned the music up as requested.

Vega and Shepard sang together, loud and off-key. _"I'M JUST THE MAN ON THE BALCONYYYYY SINGIN' NOBODY WILL EVER REEEEMEEEEMBER MEEEEE-"_

Joker groaned loudly.

Shepard's hips still moved in a figure-eight, almost subconsciously, in time with the music, and Garrus's eyes lingered there.

Shepard took another sip from the bottle while Vega continued.

_"-OHHH THEEEEIR FAAAACEEES ARE DAAAANCING-"_

She set the bottle down (Joker groaned, "No, not there, it'll get on the controls- argh,") and kept dancing, joining Vega in off-key song once more.

_"-I ONLY WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAAAAAVE, I ONLY WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAAAAAAVE!"_

She caught Garrus's eyes and smirked, walking over to him slowly.

Vega whistled, while Joker muttered, "Don't mind me, just flying the ship."

Shepard put her arms around Garrus's neck, pushing her hips toward him as she kissed him.

"Gross," said Vega and Joker in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've gone with more well-known pop-punk songs but this scene occurred to me years ago with this song, so I'm being self-indulgent and keeping it in. Anyway, Vega and Shepard bonding over mid-2000s pop punk is one of my very favourite things, and I hope it is yours, too.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at daravakarian if you want to come say hi!


	6. this thing that builds our dreams

It was hard to believe how low she could feel mere weeks after the highs Tuchanka and Rannoch afforded her. Shepard wasn't used to failing, and with Thessia...well, maybe she could've failed harder, but she didn't quite see how at that moment.

She was in her cabin, sitting fully-armoured at her desk. Her face was stained with tears, grime, and blood. She stared at the blinking "new messages" alert on the terminal, afraid to click it, afraid of what people would say. Afraid to be confronted with the people she'd let down.

_You can't reasonably expect someone's job to be being perfect,_ she thought.

But they had expected it. And until now, she'd been able to provide.

She took her helmet off and dropped it on the floor. She pressed her forehead into the heels of her hands and took a deep, ragged breath.

She stood up. It seemed to take an hour. She walked into her bathroom and turned the shower on, then began removing her armour.

She turned her music player on before stepping into the shower, at which point she realised setting her music to shuffle had been an extremely bad idea.

_"There's no time for us..."_ Freddie Mercury's voice filled her cabin. She slid to the floor of the shower and sat there, staring blankly at the wall.

She took a deep breath, only just realising she hadn't been breathing.

She closed her eyes, and sang along in a faltering voice.

_"Who wants...to live...forever...who dares to love forever..."_

"Shepard?"

She hadn't heard the cabin door open but Garrus must've come in. She didn't respond, but he quickly found her. She looked up at him from the floor of the shower. He didn't say a word, but climbed in with her. She clutched his upper arms and buried her face in his still-clothed chest, and let tears overtake her as he stroked her hair.

_"...Touch my world with your fingertips,"_ the song continued.

"Garrus," Shepard whispered.

"I'm here," he said softly.

"I'm so- I'm- Liara must be so mad, everyone's so mad, I messed up, I-"

"Shhhh," he said, holding her tighter. "It's going to be okay."

"No," said Shepard. "It isn't."

The song faded and the only sounds in the cabin were the running water and Shepard's half-choked sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thessia never does get easier, does it?
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at daravakarian if you want to come say hi!


	7. we may never, never meet again

Shepard sat on a box in the cargo bay. The Normandy, along with every other ship in the Milky Way, was headed toward Earth, and everyone knew these were likely their last moments. The cargo bay was unusually quiet; most of the crew was upstairs together in the mess hall. Shepard wasn't sure yet if she planned to drop in. All she knew was she needed a quiet moment.

"Hey," said Garrus, exiting the lift and walking over to her.

"Hey," she replied.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Just...needed a minute."

"Should I go?"

"No, please stay," she said, reaching out for his hand.

He took her hand and sat next to her, pressing her hand to his mouth.

She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. They were quiet for a few moments.

Shepard began humming.

"What's that?" Garrus murmured.

She lifted her head and looked at him, then stood up and held out a hand.

He looked at her inquisitively.

"Come on."

"What are you-"

"Dance with me."

"Shepard, you know you can't dance, right?"

"Okay, gonna pretend you didn't say that. Come on."

He stood up and took her hand. She pulled him close, placing his hands around her waist, and wrapped her own arms around his neck, shifting her weight back and forth.

"Oh. Well this isn't dancing," said Garrus.

"Sure it is. The classic eighth grade shuffle. Everyone knows it."

"Didn't make it to Palaven."

She laughed, and picked up singing.

_"The way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea, the memory of all that-"_

"I don't wear a hat or drink tea," said Garrus.

"Shh, don't ruin it. _They can't take that away from me, the way your smile just beams-"_

His finger traced the side of her face and she met his intense gaze.

_"The way you sing off-key-"_

He snorted and she smacked him lightly.

_"The way you haunt my dreams, oh no, they can't take that away from me."_

They looked at each other for a long moment, still shifting back and forth.

_"No, they can't take that away from me,"_ Shepard whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

Garrus held her head to his chest and continued swaying with her.


	8. we'll all go together

Shepard sat in a rocking chair on the front porch, pushing herself back with a foot braced on the railing. The baby in her arms had been crying for the better part of an hour and appeared nowhere close to finished.

“Shh, shh, shh,” she murmured as she rocked the chair.

The baby continued crying, and Shepard sighed.

“Always the same with you, isn’t it?”

She looked out over the front yard. The setting sun cast a pink and gold glow over the trees, leaves rustling in the slight breeze. Shepard exhaled, and began to sing.

_”Oh, the summertime is comin’, and the trees are sweetly bloomin’, and the wild mountain thyme grows around the blooming heather…”_

At the sound of her mother’s singing, the baby quieted down, though still fussing softly.

Shepard stroked her fine soft hair and kept singing.

_”And we’ll all go together, to pull wild mountain thyme…”_

“Nothing comforts her except singing. Can’t imagine where she got that from.”

Shepard turned her head to see Garrus standing in the doorway.

“Hush, you.”

“Auuuunggghh,” said the baby.

_”All around the blooming heather, will ye go, lassie, go?”_

“Don’t think I’ve heard that one,” Garrus said, sitting in the chair next to Shepard.

Shepard looked down at the baby, who was finally starting to close her eyes. “My mom used to sing it to me and my brother when we couldn’t sleep.”

Garrus reached over to put his hand on the baby’s back as he kissed the top of Shepard’s head. “Seems it’s still working its magic.”

Shepard smiled and sighed. “Well, now I can’t move.”

Garrus chuckled. “You’ll just have to sit here and watch the sunset with me.”

“What a nightmare.”

He looked over at her, the sun’s glow dancing in his eyes.

“I’m glad you still look at me like that,” she said softly.

“Like what?”

She smiled and looked down, gently rubbing the baby’s back. “I dunno. Like…like I’m the only thing in the world you care about.”

His mandibles flared. “Well, until six months ago, you were.”

“You care about lots of things.”

“Nothing as much as you two.”

She smiled. “I suppose that’s fair.”

Shepard hummed absentmindedly as they watched the sunset for a few minutes before a thought occurred to her.

“Oh no. If she’s sleeping now, she won’t sleep all night.”

Garrus shrugged. “Do you have anywhere to be tomorrow?”

Shepard tilted her head. “Guess not.” She turned to him, grinning. “We’ve got all the time in the world now.”

“And I’ll take her tomorrow so you can take a nap.”

“Ah good. I’ll keep you, Vakarian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love to give Garrus and Shepard a happy ending. My mom sang this song to me when I was a baby, I sang it to my baby brothers, and now my Shep gets to sing it to her baby. Tooth-rotting, right?
> 
> Thanks for coming with me on this ridiculous fluffy self-indulgent tangent. I'm on Tumblr at daravakarian if you want to say hi!


End file.
